An Easy Way to Spot a Wife Beater...

...The Pointed Index Finger of Correction

Was talking with a friend the other night whom I have known since childhood, and we were reminiscing on characters we both recalled over the years. Three of them were Woman Batterers (2 convicted and 1 ran off to Australia), and we both mentioned that they all had a specific trait that we had both noticed.

While it is a given all of these Woman Batterers arrived in the women’s lives as a ‘White Knight’ archetype, during her time of need, soon a corrective aspect to his psychological dominance of her took hold. She was being trained into what he needed her to be.

Once he has her, he will then use psychological manipulation to mask his colossal levels of jealousy and insecurity. Usually, this is pretending to suffer from depression/hallow suicide threats, or having been damaged by his ex and so on. Finishing her sentences when she was speaking to someone else was very noticeable too. Even from early in the relationship, he will act as some kind of go-between if she speaks to another man to make sure she is saying what he expects her to say. Literally as a kind of constant human fact checker.

However, the one gesture we both clearly recalled (independently too) was how they all pointed their finger and made contact with either the women’s shoulders, upper chests, or arms as they corrected them. Even in a friendly way. She might say something like ‘Marc Almond was the Human League…’ and he will place his index finger on one of these locations and go. ‘”So-ft Cell’. Eventually, this turned into a fist slamming into her face when he felt his pity ploy act was not convincing anymore, or White Knight armor was losing its sparkle.

My friend and I were recalling specific instances when we both noticed this behaviour in all three Woman Batterers. A subtle hint that the woman better learn to say what he expected her to say, or a fist would be next.

*FINGER GENTLY PRESSED INTO UPPER ARM* “So-ft Cell”